oh shits brain on the fritz my man

My brain waves are kinda messed up. So how about you read something my teenage cousin wrote.

This life is yours. Make it your own.

Death rate is 100% in the world and nobody gets a second chance. By this, I mean stop wimping out on life. Get out there and do something crazy for yourself. Life is going to take you on a roller coaster so put your hands up and enjoy the ride, because face it, no matter how hard you hold on and try to turn, the tracks sure ain’t moving anytime soon.

This life is something so beautiful that only occurs once so don’t live with a bunch of ‘what ifs’ or regrets. Learn from every mistake so that nothing is a regret, it sure didn’t happen by accident. No one gets a second chance and with that said, we need to make sure we do everything necessary to make the most of this life.

I am sick of watching not only others, but myself also get pulled into the trap of what other people think. They don’t matter. In the words of Dr. Seuss, “Those who mind, don’t matter; those who matter, don’t mind.” In the US and around the world we have this mentality that other people won’t like us if we don’t look a certain way, talk a certain way, or hang out with certain people. I am here to tell you that people who are non-mainstream are some of the greatest people I have met. We can all learn from them.

This life is yours, be who you want, not who society wants, they want clones of the same person anyway, not a deviant who might challenge their logic with morality. Society says that we all should be a size 0, or super muscular with acne free skin and perfect features. Then again, society doesn’t really have a face of its own either, it’s just a collective group of imperfect people like you and I.

This life is so precious, and in the words of Switchfoot, “Are you who you want to be? Or are you some puppet on a string controlled by corporate input and money.” I can guarantee you, that the person that you and God want you to be is so much better than a puppet on a string who dances at the will of others. Be brave, be smart, be choosy, and listen to yourself.
And I thought teenagers were just depressed zombies.

forget hinges stay on the fringes is what Dr. Seuss would say

there are a couple things that get to me in this city (NY)

1. People who think they are old.

2. People who love fluff talk (I.E- School, work or anything that aggravates the senses)

3. People who do not dream anymore.

It irks me to think that people my age and slightly above consider themselves old. Shit if you do not think for one second that Old John Wrinkle Dick wouldn’t trade places with you so he can get his fuck on you are an intense dumbass. 🙂 I mean why do we fear aging and not embrace it in American culture?

We are meant to grow old and beautiful.

But shit why talk about deeper issues when somebody always wants to touch on the superficial shit in life.

Have you ever found yourself listening to someone and zoning the fuck out because the conversation is always about the same dumb shit.

You know you do not give a fuck what I plan to do with a college degree.

So please just ask me if I enjoy light bondage or some shit LMAO

Lastly something that depresses me to the utmost is people who forget to dream.

People here get wrapped up in school, work, their business, kids, who the fuck knows.

They become their professions, their responsibilities and all that fun shit.

But if they only knew that dreams can never be tarnished by others they would smile more.

We all wear masks but when we dream the masks we wear are truly different sides of us

as we walk through the door with no hinges to

sit atop the wall of the fringes.


Vamp Life

Go on Youtube look up this shit: Ryeland “Come Now”

Before you do that make sure your slightly altered (If you were just born on another level don’t worry the music is trippy).

Listen to it and try not to dance like a beautiful maniac.

I dare you 🙂


By the way the Vamp Life is something I just stumbled on to which I will explain someday.

Stay tuned folks my downward spiral has just begun.

yeah yeah yeahs

So I finally get the nerve to text a lady I like the way it should be.

Exactly what I feel.

I said fuck that waiting 20min-3 hours shit, fuck waiting for our sun to become a supernova or any other


Because check this out, I realize if she likes you, she likes you and unless you write her some crazy shit it does not matter.

Scratch that I wrote to her exactly what my intentions were.

There was no reason for beating around bushes.

I want to grab her close, whisper dirty things in her ear and make her horny.

I felt no need to woo.

And you know what.

She understood what Shakespeare understood:

This above all: To thy ownself be true.

Lesson: Seriously if you didn’t get it stop reading my post hahaha

Oh and she reminds me of the beautiful singer in the Yeah Yeah Yeahs


fuck swag

Okay I have not posted in a while. For good reason to. I have been able to live my life on excellent terms.

I am broke, no job , and a veteran.

You would think it was a sad story but it isn’t.

The only reason is because I finally figured out that who I am is a work in progress.

I see things differently than I did before and after the war.

Pessimism is replaced by optimism. Optimism ends up being shitty too and I become a realist.

And suddenly all these traits clash and make an imperfect man.

A man with flaws, insecurities, confidence, volatility, humility and everything else.

The best thing about getting older despite what images of “perfection” we are bombarded with is that

every year I feel more and more happy.

Knowledge truly is what sets us humans apart from any species in human existence.

You are reading this and do not even realize that to accomplish this task you are light years ahead of lost generations.

My grandma was illiterate. But she learned as hard as it was to read. Although I can never see her breaking down

some academic textbooks she still had the will to learn.

If this post is random its because I am.

What is even weirder is that

You are just like me

and its just fine.

Lesson: No Lesson 

Another Lady: Eve or How To Stay Goofy and Awkward and still impress

Eve was sitting on a train with headphones in. But nothing could stop me from being

enthralled with her.

There was something about her eyes and demeanor that just said talk to me please.

She had full warm lips that I knew I wanted to kiss someday.

I never have a problem talking to most women but there are unique ones which always seem to leave me speechless a bit.

I was not paralyzed though and proceeded to sit next to her and initiate a conversation.

We exchanged words but for a moment I felt like her putting back her headphones and tuning me out would be my reality but

It did not happen and I made my way back to life with the number of a woman that genuinely is interesting to me.

I set up something for the week but I still feel like this is a good way to move into a lesson.

This one is basically embracing your goofy side and not willing to compromise for the sake of looking cool.

If a woman digs ya she digs ya!

Your jokes can suck like a mosquito and she will still laugh.


Because she thinks your awesome. With that being said I try not to question a woman’s feelings.

Now wish me luck with Eve.


Lesson: We all are awkward, goofy and weird. You will be surprised to find that she loves it.

Practice Indifference or How to be bulletproof when it comes to rejection (NYC EDITION)

I did it the hard way. Approaching and approaching and approaching women (Or anyone I found interesting).

I have had more rejections than you could ever imagine.

Things like “Not interested”, “It was nice meeting you bye”, and the worst one yet ”    ” (Yup dead silence).

In the beginning I was shattered but after a while I realized it was starting to not affect me like it used to.

I just kept going on my daily affairs and kept my infamous smile on.

I was on my way to becoming bulletproof in a city that destroys your self worth on a daily basis.

I learned how to practice indifference.

According to dictionary.com indifference is, “lack of interest or concern”.

Now there are times when indifference is absolutely unnecessary like when someone in your neighborhood needs medical attention. Imagine being indifferent to that you’d be a cold hearted bastard! (Sean Connery Accent)

What indifference simply refers to is not really caring about the outcome to any interaction you have with a stranger or someone you are introduced to.

Keeping it casual and being indifferent to what somebody else feels about you in the beginning is the key.

Here is how it is done:

1. The person will either like you or not like you. Why worry about this? You can only provide yourself and if they do not dig it many others will.

2. Approach people not with the aim of making a date, a friend or anything else. Approach people just for the sake of a possibility of a good verbal exchange.

3. Do not be paralyzed by rejection. Some people just get off (especially in NYC) by rejecting people. What you have in your possession is the amount of power you are willing to give to their doling of rejection.


Lesson: Practice being indifferent when the time calls for it you will indeed feel emotionally bulletproof.


A word on Jealousy or how not to compare yourself to anyone

Here is the story:

My best friend had trouble with women. Specifically he was paralyzed when it came to initial conversations. After talking to him and being out in the world he learns how to get passed this. And now I barely see the guy.

I was supposed to be happy for him but for an odd reason I felt a tad bit sour.

Why? this was my best friend and now he finally achieved a sustainable amount of success in his dating life.

But I realized nothing was his fault it was just my inner insecurities that proved fatal.

I questioned why I wasn’t 6 feet tall with blue eyes and it tore me up for a while.

When we would talk to women I would see them look at him as though I were an invisible brown boy and it is because of those insecurities that made me utterly unattractive.

(Part of the reason is that I was raised to believe that being Caucasian was to be beautiful, heavy shit huh lol)

But after analyzing myself I realized I could not change myself physically.

The only control I had was that of my own mind.

It is absolutely pointless to compare yourself to another being but in America it is hard to do.

We tend to put more emphasis on people who occupy the top tier of the socioeconomic rung.

No one really takes into account what kind of character and personality someone has.

Now that I can gather the facts the jealousy has faded but never do I want to be a man that constantly obsesses over comparisons to other men.

If you are living, breathing, thinking or moving you are indeed one of the lucky ones.

Jealousy is okay but shitting on yourself for things outta your control is not healthy.


Lesson: Your you if that is not enough for everyone no worries just enjoy the some who know.

A 2nd Go At The Avengers or how to nerd out and be proud nerdism #1

I hate following crowds but when they are right they are right.

THE AVENGERS kicks so much ass!

I plan to watch it again today with some female company. Ooo fancy.

Maybe there will not be much watching except for the fact I have to pay a lot for a ticket.

So how can you nerd out and still be cool (and not a hipster)

Here it is:

1. Do not proclaim yourself a nerd

2. Do share your thoughts on nerdy topics but do not spew to much.

3. Wear what makes you feel comfortable despite the crap they peddle to us daily.

4. Find like minded people to share your nerdy passions. 7 Billion people a couple are bound to enjoy what you enjoy.

Lesson: (1) You are a nerd

(2) Every nerd is cool

(3) Therefore you are a nerd and cool

Appreciation of a Female form or How to Make a woman feel sexy

Now sex, fucking or lovemaking is a two way street. But I believe to give is always better to receive.

(Except during Christmas when cousin cheap ass just gives you a card no money!)

The female form has intrigued and perplexed many men and woman alike.

Now this day and age has a standard of beauty that are fed to us the masses but


It is no wonder why many people have such bad body images.

We kinda want to be closer to a lie as possible but why? (Conditioning maybe)

Anyhow it is very simple to make a woman feel absolutely great take a look:

1. Learn to give a great massage and take your time with it. It is very easy to make it sensual and special.

2. If she has a great ass, a perfect pair of boobs, or anything else your sick self finds sexy let her know. Not only do you let her know but let her know that no other woman can even come close to that.

3. Send her a text out of the blue letting her know that you had a thought about how beautiful she would look on a beach being kissed by the sun. Use this sparsely as to much can take the magic right out of the whole thing.

4. Be creative here your aim is to not make her feel important but let her know that she is. Noticing the smallest details is what make all the difference.


Lesson: Appreciation does not mean obsession it simply means letting her know that she is special and you know exactly what she wants. Her form is your art.